I came acros a shop in Annecy (Haute Savoie) that was selling a number of t-shirts with distorted brand logos (with play on words in French). Here is the most international example… The power of music and love (should I say “sex”): two of the world’s universal languages.

Translation:
Professor of Music
Private lessons at home.

As for the other examples, clearly they are lost in translation.  Enjoy!