In a continuation of the favorite things kids say, this one is for the odd things adults say. The challenge with this is the cultural context. So, with my Western prejudice, I will limit my thoughts to the Anglo-Franco-American that I am.

  • How are you doing? (that platitudinous greeting, asked with no interest in listening to the answer — I’d prefer ‘How are you being?’)
  • Do you have the time? (As if anyone had any time to spare. When you hear this question from a stranger in the street, don’t you find that you spend a moment trying to determine whether it’s a ploy to ask for money or a legitimate question…)
  • I don’t have the time to… (whatever the person doesn’t have time to do, it is merely a reflection of the person’s choice to be doing something else, like raising kids, procrastinating — part of my Aynrandian ways)
  • How many times do you kiss? (Part of my randy ways? In fact, you don’t ever hear this said before you meet someone… but it might help clear up the confusion when you travel in Europe — when is it 1, 2, 3 or 4 pecks on the cheek(s), or one quickie on the lips like in Russia?)
  • To be honest… (as if the rest of the time, we are not being honest?)
  • Between these four walls… (it seems that there are more frequently than not windows lining one side of the room when someone mentions this ‘secret’)
  • I’d love to be a fly on the wall (about the only time people appreciate flies)
  • That bloody red light… [check Brit accent] (swearing at a red light that clearly doesn’t take an insult personally)

And I’d love to hear some more from you. Bring it on!

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